Big Weeks!

The last few weeks have been pretty intense. I've attended three concerts, survived my first seminar and had my life totally changed.

Let's start with the concerts.

On the 17th, I went and saw Sugarland at Hilton Coliseum on campus. We had the highest seats in the arena, which didn't actually detract from the concert. In addition to seeing an amazing high energy show, we also coined a new phrase: country tramp. Apparently there's huge style market that I'm completely unaware of that combines cowboy boots and mini-skirts with a little midriff showing. Think Jessica Simpson in the Dukes of Hazzard (even thought that was over five years ago). I realize that with that statement, my age is showing. Oh well...turning 35 this year means I can be a little cranky now and then.

From the non-cranky side, here's a video of what we saw that night. I'm not a huge country music fan but this was one of the best concerts I've ever seen.

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Fast forward a few days and I'm at a concert at Hoyt Sherman. Hoyt Sherman is a historic building in central Des Moines that houses a theater akin to an opera house. For the Madison folks, imagine a classy Barrymore. Now add three bands: Cage the Elephant, Manchester Orchestra and Silversun Pickups. All these are up and comers with some current radion play. All are also good and loud. And unfortunately, I don't think the space was conducive to the type of music. It was super loud, super warm and a little too "thumpy" in terms of out-of-control bass. But I am a huge fan of the song below. And they totally rocked it out.



Finally, I got to see my third Brandi Carlile show of the year at the O'Shaughnessy in St. Paul. After a delightful dinner at the Happy Gnome, we went over to St. Catherine's for the show. The O'Shaughnessy is a staple in the Twin Cities music scene and I couldn't have been more impressed. Amazing acoustics, great seating (except for that the rows are VERY long and without a middle aisle, which made getting to the bathroom a little annoying for those to my right) and a classy feel for an older space. This was the first Brandi show I have seen that wasn't more acoustic in nature. She had a great drummer and some wonderful steel guitar pieces. Below is a clip from the concert of one of her newer songs, Dreams, off of the album that will be out on October 6. In addition to seeing a great show, we went with some folks who wanted to have Brandi sign an album afterward. So we hung out for a bit, me lagging back a bit because I have a kind of weird belief system about performers. I recognize that musicians like to hear how much they are appreciated and how wonderful their music is but I also like to think of it in terms of strong boundaries. I'll sit in the audience and enjoy your show, you sit on stage and enjoy putting it on. Maybe it's the growing introvert in me but I wouldn't have considered hanging out outside of a tour bus waiting to meet a musician. But I did on Wednesday night. And here is the outcome.



Gah! I managed not to stumble over my words and say something rediculous like, "you're pretty....." but it was still a little thrilling.

And it's also my Facebook pic.

Here's the video from the concert.

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Seminar....blah. There's a required seminar series that all PhD students are required to take. The outcome of the seminar was me rethinking whether or not I want to get my PhD. There was a bit of useful information to it but generally speaking, it was in direct opposition to the mantra of "you're an adult and your time is valuable" message that is shared by the department. All in all, a bit of a frustrating day.

Finally...life changing.

On Tuesday, September 22, the first day of fall, Madison Marlee Olds made her presence in the world. Eight weeks early, weighing in at three pounds and thirteen ounces, she's here! (leave it to an Olds woman to do things on her own timeline and in her own way....) Matt and Heather have updates on their blog that include some wonderful pictures of her looking up at her mom and dad with so much love and trust. And she has a head of dark hair, even at this early of a time. I could go on and on about how amazing it is to be an aunt and how I didn't sleep very well until I saw the pictures of her and her tiny little fingers. Or how talking to my brother and hearing the awe and love and fear all in one voice made my heart ache. But I will leave it at this. She is a lucky lucky little girl and I have spent so much time thinking about how lucky I am to have the family that I do and the life that I do. I cannot wait to see her grow into the woman she will be. But first, I can't wait to meet her. And for Matthew and Heather, I could not be more proud and happy than I have been this last week.



OK...back to studying for stats. Real world awaits.

Hello!

Hi there, have we met? I'm Kris...you must be Kris's blog. You look familiar but I can't place from where. We must have been friends a long time ago.

*sigh*

There have been a few things that have come up in the last couple of weeks where I thought, "gee! That would be a great blog post!" For example, Patrick Swayze dying. I distinctly remember being at an 8th grade graduation slumber party at Linnea Kuhlmey's and watching Dirty Dancing on VHS and using the remote, which had a CORD, because this was 1989, to rewind to see if we could Patrick Swayze's butt as he crawled out of bed after he and Baby had their big moment. The answer was that you couldn't, which was probably what kept it at a PG rating. But that movie was the first time I thought "Hey...there's an awkward smart girl who catches the attention of the super good looking hero. It Can happen." At various time through my own awkward years and even into my less awkward but confused and conflicted adult hood, there would be the line "no one puts Baby in the corner" and I would smile. I realize this reads as incredibly dorky and not a little teenaged-ish but it does hold a dear place in my heart.

Classes are going pretty well. I have a stats class that has started to kick my butt. The first few weeks were a pretty decent review of what I already knew but now we are on to formulas that mix numbers, letters and greek symbols. I never considered myself a purist but I just don't think my brain knows how to make sense of those combinations. So I've been spending a lot of work on that.

I'm helping facilitate a class for first-year Construction Engineering students around the area of leadership and learning. There a few of them that don't look a day over 15. They are really exciting to work with in terms of being at the beginning of their academic careers and the growth I can see occurring on a weekly basis. Some of them are also a little skeptical of the "soft" stuff we are talking about so it can be a challenge to keep them engaged. But it does feel great to be back in the classroom.

Willy continues to be great. He had his first vet appointment since moving to Ames is a healthy 30 pounds. He can be a bit squirrely, as most puppies can be, but his endearing factors outweigh his annoying ones.

That sums it up as halftime of the Packer game has ended. Go Pack go!

remember me?

As I write this, I'm sitting at the bar that I've been working at for the last year. Working here WAY more than drinking here, which is a nice change.

Speaking of changes, I also start my PhD program tomorrow. I have an assistantship, I have a classload, I have the beginnings of a Capstone project. Because I did my masters here, most of my classes will roll over and I should only have 3 semesters of classes and then I'm giving myself a year of writing. So in theory, two and half years from now, I will be Dr. Kris Olds.

CRAZY!

But it does have a nice ring to it....

edit:
this is my horoscope for today. Quite fitting, if I do say so.

You're about to embark on an extraordinary opportunity or relationship. Be receptive and open to the influences that are intent on presenting you with experiences that will shape your mind, body and soul if only you are willing to relax your sense of control and deal with what comes your way. There's no need to decide one way or the other what your course of action will be. Instead, watch, wait and listen for your golden chance.



Post in the next few days will probably tackle the "relax your sens of control" thing. Been thinking a lot about that lately...

I took 532 pictures in the last week

Here are some of the highlights from the annual trip home to Wisconsin. In the last nine days, I saw an amazing concert, attended a professional sporting event, caught up with a friend I hadn't seen in a few years, spent two days in Madison, spent three days in Stevens Point, ate at supper clubs, had a fish fry, attended two baby showers and saw my brother and sister-in-law from Seattle. It was a busy nine days. And then we came home and Kim and Jared made us dinner and I got to catch up with Ben, who is now learning to drive. Ok...not really. But he is smiling for real and his strength is growing.

Here are some of the photo highlights.


Willy with the windblown look...


Robyn and I enjoyed beer and cherries before the Coldplay concert at Alpine Valley.


Robyn at the soccer game.


Robyn, her dad and Willy on the Gator for a tour of the farm.


Joe and Robyn enjoying some backyard time before the Fish Fry.


Baby shower #1. Lots of women celebrating Crystal's baby-to-be.


The Smits family gathering for Matthew and Heather's shower. You can almost tell that Heather is expecting.


Tommy wanting to get in on the fun, being squirmy in Matthew's arms.

I think I feel this way everytime I return home from a trip to Wisconsin. I like my life here. I'm excited for what the future brings but I really wish I was closer to my family. I wish we could do dinner once a month and have that be the norm, not the exception. I wish that I lived where there are rolling hills and lots of pine trees.

*sigh*

It is good to be home...really it is. But I think this trip, more than most, really hit home that I want to be where family is. And ultimately, that's what "home" means to me.

How I spent my Monday

So Robyn has been planning a new tattoo for a while. Something that would signify moving from one phase of life to the next, while honoring the struggle of the process.

And she came up with this.



It goes from the midway through the front to midway through the back of her left thigh. About 7 inches across and 5 inches high. The yellow was the most painful. Can you see all that yellow? After four hours of constant needling, lots of wincing and squeezing of hands. But a beautiful end result.

There was some IKEA time, some Trader Joe time and then a nice visit with Granny in Rochester. It was a pretty great Monday.

I know, I know...I need to get puppy pics up. Soon, I promise.

Friday is dog day!

Willy/Wally/Ollie will be moving to Ames on Friday. More pictures to follow, I'm quite sure.

This past weekend was spent in Chicago celebrating Pride Weekend. I have pictures, they'll be up soon too. But it was a great weekend. Friday night was Indigo Girls and Brandi Carlile at Ravinia. If you haven't been to a concert there before, I highly recommend it. Wonderful environment. We then explored some local haunts before retiring to bed. Morning came really really early for a great round of golf. There were six of us so we split into a foursome and a twosome. As a member of the twosome, we were joined by two guys who couldn't have been more patient. They were not terribly more skilled than us which really lowered the stress of playing with strangers. Because we only slept for about four hours, we crashed pretty hard before hitting a block party and a bar. I don't know that I've ever been around so many lesbians in one place. In some ways, it was really comforting. In other ways, it was a little unsettling. I spent a lot of time people watching and became pretty aware that there were some obvious patterns having to do with neuroses and mental health. I want to think about them a little bit more before I make them public but it was really interesting. Sunday was breakfast with my folks, who happened to be in town for a concert at Ravinia on Saturday night, and then off to the parade. Plenty of sunshine and people to fill the afternoon. We had an amazing hostess, Tracy, who opened up her home and introduced us to some pretty cool folks. It was a pretty awesome weekend.

Oh! I'm not sure that I can do it justice by telling it here but I don't know that I've ever laughed so hard in my life. After riding a completely PACKED bus back to our parking spot after the concert, we were milling around before packing the SUV back up. Not any ol' SUV but a sweet pimpin' black Lexus with leather interior and bitching sound system. I'm not usually all that interested in cars but this was one amazing ride. Tracy offered to drive us back into the city so we were all gathering. Carrie, probably spelled wrong and the owner of the car, was riding shotgun. Tracy was having a hard time getting the car started. She had the key in the ignition and it was lit up to show that there was contact. But for the life of her, she couldn't get it to start. After Carrie shared her concern about breaking the key off in the lock, Tracy pulled it out to make the point that she was doing it right. Except it wasn't the car key. It was the house key that had a light up holder. And the Lexus key is the switchblade type where you have to push a button to make the key come out. No one had told Tracy that. She had been trying to start the sweet car with a house key. Her frustration and Carrie's directions made the moment hilarious. If you've ever known someone who when faced with an uncomfortable or annoying correction, mutters a rather defeated "oh....", you would understand the humor in the moment. If not, rest assured, Tracy was not drinking and that was not a factor in the incident.

This is how I spent my evening. Kim and Jared went to dinner and a movie so Robyn and I went to babysit. Apparently, both Ben and I needed a nap.

Activities as of late...

Let's see...it's been a busy week.

I've been spending a bunch of time with Baby Ben. I had a pretty lousy Friday morning having to do with a weird "bait and switch" situation with the new assistantship and after driving around, fuming for a bit, I realized I wanted to be around Ben. So I popped over to the Topp-Mike household, vented for a bit, and Kim handed Ben to me. I sat there for over an hour, just feeling him sleep in my arms. Watching his little face furrow as random dreams flew his head. Totally helped take the edge off the morning.

Friday night brought a baseball game. I'm not a huge baseball fan but I do enjoy being in the environment.



Saturday was a working day. Domestic work, garden work and then bar work. The first harvest of basil is shown here. I've been eating pesto all day. Lucky folks at work tonight with the garlic coming out of my pores.



This week will be a lot of heat and some more hard work. Next weekend will be Chicago Pride. I'm sure there will be good pics and stories from there.

Take care everyone.

per multiple requests

I have stopped requiring that folks who want to comment must log in. So feel free to comment at will. but don't hide behind anonymity if you think my garden is too small or my soon-to-be dog is goofy looking.

some updates

Let's see...what's been happening.

Kim had her baby. :)



Not to get all mushy but there has been nothing in my life that has prepared me for being in the room as a baby is born. It was life changing.

And my mom sent me a garden gnome for the garden. He's keeping guard, discouraging the rabbits.


And I have an assistantship for next year. More details to follow after I sign the letter of intent but it would seems that things are falling into place.

Ooo! And looking at getting a pup. I think this guy is going to be joining the ranks.

Photo post

Prom Night at London Underground. Robyn and me with Audrey and Brian

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The radishes were the first ones to show up. :)


This makes it look pretty small but it's a straight on shot. There have been multiple conversations about the actual dimensions, which could be solved by measuring, but at this point it's assumed to be 4-ish feet from the sidewalk to the fence and somewhere between 10 and 14 feet long.


This is the view of the garden from my third floor patio. You can get a sense of perspective of where it is in the backyard.



This is the crew of folks I worked with at UW-Stevens Point. It was pretty awesome to have everyone together to celebrate Kyle and Krystal's wedding. It was an amazing time.


At the wedding above, the giveaways were little amphibians. Because this one was orange and bendy, it was named Jared.

T-minus 10 days

So 10 days from now, I will join the throngs of professionals out there seeking employment in a tight economy. To my credit, I will be out there looking with a shiny new master's degree and a healthy amount of experience. To my detriment, I want to stick around central Iowa. I have it settled to this: I will either get a job or a won't. If I do, I will enjoy a healthier paycheck, substantial benefits and a sense of purpose that connects my education and experience to a career. If I don't, I will continue with my second career path, bartending, and try to make ends meet through a variety of creative endeavors. I will enjoy freedom and the luxury of being able to do pretty much what I want when I want to. I guess you could say it's a win-win proprosition.

This shift in mindset from being terrified of not having a job came from thinking about what I always think about....what do I have control over? I don't have control over the economy, I don't have control over the minds of folks who are interviewing me. I can only do my best and make the best with what I have. There's no sense in spending energy stressing out about what I don't have. If there are things I want to be different, I need to figure out how to make them different. Simple as that.

I'm mildly concerned that this is making me an optimist. Heaven forbid that that happens...

Thanks for sticking around folks. I think I may have turned the corner in making this big change in life.

hi there!

So yesterday was the big day. I defended for my master's degree and at the end of the 85 minutes, i was handed a blue slip of paper that said "pass". Very exciting, I will tell you.

Working on that process really took me out of the loop in terms of blogging or even general communication. I hope that the next five weeks will bring somewhat of a lessening in the stress and work category. Except, of course, that I'm starting to stress about not having a job. My GA ends on May 8. I've applied for a job here on campus and one in Des Moines but other than that, I'll need to have some pretty stellar nights at the ol' LU if I'm going to have to survive on bartending alone. It's incredible how the stress of yesterday rolled right into a new set of stresses today.

But I'm aware this is something I don't have any control over. I can't apply for jobs that don't exist and when they do come open, I need to put together a package that sells me well.

*sigh*

or win the lottery

Saying "no"...saying "yes"...saying exactly what you mean

I'm a Midwesterner. This is who I am. It's who I want to be. One of the characteristics of a Midwesterner is that we are unfailingly polite. Even when we don't want to be. Think of the quality of service personnel in the Midwest versus the east or west coast. OK...maybe they are exceptionally well trained in politeness but for us, it comes naturally. We really do want to be polite and be kind. Especially as women, we get this message of "be nice" and "don't make a fuss". And in general, I think those are pretty good message. It never hurts to be nice. And not making fuss often means you actually do get to do what you'd like.

But one of the things that I don't think we get a lot of training on is how to say "no". Or even, how to say "yes". I was an article on Christine Kane's blog this morning about how to say no. She references the idea that if you know what you want, you can then make decisions that will get you closer to that point. But first, you need to make yourself a priority. Holy crap! That's crazy talk! That's what I first thought when I read it.

Over the last year, I've had to think a lot about what my priorities are and how to align my energy and resources to meet them. It's actually been pretty hard. It's been hard to consider what I would like to do/be if there weren't any limitations. And then to consider what those limitations are and how I'm probably the one doing the limiting? Whew! Exhausting work.

I've found it does get easier. It's easier to make decisions when you know what you want. It's easier to ask for what you need if you actually know what you need. It's healthier to say yes to opportunities and offers when you can see how they will fit into the grand scheme of your life. But it has been pretty tiring work. And I'm not even close to being done.

I will never give up my Midwestern roots. I will go out of my way to hold the door for someone or to randomly smile to a stranger on the street. I have been the girl who buys Starbucks for the person behind. I offer to iron clothing because it's a chore I don't mind and it's a helpful thing to do. None of those things will change. I am, however, being more aware of when I need to say "no". I listen to that little voice inside my head that says, "Are you sure this what you want?". Sadly, sometimes that little voice gets silenced because there are bigger issues at hand. But I believe it's a process and I think it's one in which I've made some serious progress.

Great line from class last week

I have a class this semester in leadership and learning. We examine the connection between the two and how we, as supervisors/leaders/advisers, can facilitate resiliency and leadership among those we interact with.

We've been talking a lot about conflict lately, since it's an integral part of any sort of team environment. And I will be the first to say that I'm not a fan of conflict. Of course, most folks don't actually enjoy conflict, but after reflection and reading, I see that I connect conflict to emotional responses. I'm fine mediating conflict between others but when it comes to my own, i would much rather avoid or squash it than have those difficult conversations. Something my professor said last week has really been resonating with me.

"Having your say does not mean getting your way"

For the last few years I have seen a remarkable increase in people thinking this way. Mostly students who are accustomed to "helicopter parent" phenomenon where all of their needs and wants are taken care of just my mentioning it to mom and dad. But I am also seeing this more and more in new professionals. People who think that just because they have said what they want or feel like they are right, they should get what they want. There seems to be a HUGE lack in compromise, sacrifice and willingness to take personal responsibility. It's incredibly frustrating to me, as a person who craves independence and places a pretty high value on competence.

Are we doing anyone justice by continuing to reward this behavior? The flipside would say that in order for people to feel valued and connected, we need to communicate with them in the way that they will respond to. My approach and that approach seem to be the extremes. There has to be a developmental approach in the middle that would cultivate personal responsibility but also acknowledge the approach of the newbies.

Hmm...

In light of taking the GRE's last week...

In light of taking the GRE's last week, here are some of the grammar issues that are just plain ol' wrong.

Irregardless: THIS IS NOT A WORD. To get all etymological about it, let's take the leap to break this down. If you add the prefix "ir-" to a work, you are implying the opposite of the root. Irregardless is not the opposite of regardless. Some folks who use the ugly word, as irregardless should be known as, often are coming from the mistaken perspective that "gardless" is the root of the word and therefor "regardless" needs to be negated. WRONG! The "re" isn't a prefix. It's part of the darn word!! It's not like irresponsible, where the addition of "ir" negates the "responsible". This is my #1 pet peeve. Nails on chalkboard for me. And I try to find a polite way to let folks know if they are using made up words, especially if I'm in an advising/supervising role. That being said, I can read a flow chart. I had a supervisor recently who used this word regularly. And she wasn't a person I was particularly well connected to. So I just had to keep my mouth shut. But seriously...nails on a chalkboard.

Acrossed: Why is the past tense of this word used? I need to own that I didn't become aware that I was incorrectly using this word until my first year of college when a dear friend of mine, John Maslowski, would regularly correct me. And I'm told when I get really chatty and on a tired (yes...it happens), I will occasionally drop it in. So this is a word that more dings around than actually feels like paper cuts to my eyeballs.

edit: Here is how "acrossed" may be used in a sentence. "Did you see they opened a new restaurant acrossed the street?" or "I think that girl is making eyes at you from acrossed the room."

Other classic words like "ain't" don't really bother me because I don't hear them often. Perhaps this is due to educational privilege. But unless I'm at Wilson's Tap in Boone (shout out to the STBN crew), I ain't hearing ain't real often. :)

If this post comes across as being as me bring a grammar snob, so be it. I'm not an educational snob, I'm not a gastronomical snob, I'm not an adult beverage snob (go PBR!) so I will own this snobbery. I throw out props to my Granny for making sure I know how to sound educated and professional. I may not iron my clothes as much as she would like but I will always be conscious of how my language affects the perception that I cultivate.

To-do list

Maybe making it public will help.

-Proposal to Dr. R
-Case study
-Case study email
-GRE registration
-topic to Kim L
-response to globalization stuff
-homework for class tonight
-update journal for 545
-PhD application

Update at 4pm.

Update is that i'm still stalling on my proposal/case study. *sigh* Maybe tomorrow. But I did learn the html code for strike throughs. that has to count for something, right?!

OMG!!!

I should preface this post by saying that I have a very limited connection to religion. I am intrigued by folks who have a strong sense of faith. Not as intrigued as my dad, who watches the Christian channel when the nuns are on praying the rosary because their commitment is both admirable and bizarre, but intrigued nonetheless. I can discuss Christianity with a fair amount of knowledge and comfort but it's much more theoretical to me than a part of who I am. I see it kind of as a really great book or movie where you're invested in the characters but you're not sure why they do what they do and you have concerns about the parts that the author left out. The University that I work at has a very strong Christian student population. VERY strong. Loud, too. And it's that part of religion that I really struggle with. The part that says, "How can you not believe what I believe?!". And it goes both ways. I have also seen the other side where folks who believe strongly in not having faith question those who are of faith with a determined dogmatism that seems counter intuitive to their arguments. All in all, religion, and those who believe in it, are a fascinating bunch.

So when I came across two articles about religion this past week, I found myself really thinking about what they meant. The first was in the New York Times and talked about the reemergence of the "indulgence" in the Catholic tradition. Being someone who has...ahem...been indulgent at various times in life, I wanted to learn more about the Catholic perspective. Although the definitions weren't the same, I learned more about this bygone tradition. Apparently, indulgences are a kind of a super-absolution. They were taken out of the mainstream Catholic tradition along with the Latin masses and meatless Friday's during the Vatican II changeover. (which I really only know about because it caused my Catholic grandpa a fair amount of concern. "How come one Friday I can't eat meat and now I can? That's just not right?!) The article goes on to explain that by combining confession with some good acts, one can earn a "plenary indulgence" and that the reason they are being brought back is because "there is still sin in the world". Here's where my questioning side comes in. Why isn't confession enough? If I understand it correctly, indulgences shorten the time in purgatory or skip it altogether. But if purgatory is everlasting, how does five years off help? Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of making good on ones wrongs. And adding a community service requirement seems like a great idea too. But why now? Is it because the church needs some good press? I'm not sure. But I learned a lot from this article, and like any good article, left me with more questions than answers.

About two hours later, still at work, I came across this article. It seems that John Paul II agreed to allow married priests IF they were coming to the priesthood after being ordained in another faith. So a Lutheran pastor gets married, decides being Catholic is more his style and now can be a priest, even though he's married. WTF! How does this stay true to the original tenet that priests have to be single/celibate? At a time when the church is at an all time low, both in terms of public perception as well as young men entering the fold, wouldn't it make sense to allow this to ALL men of faith? Or women, for that matter? What was once non-negotiable, now is negotiable! Exceptions, rather than the rule. But why?

I don't mean this to be at all disrespectful of the Catholic traditions. As I said, I'm more curious about the dichotomy than suggesting that there are right vs. wrong issues. I believe religion and spirituality to be some of the most private and personal issues in a persons life. As I said earlier, I am incredibly curious about why people believe what they do and how they came to those beliefs. Having many many many Catholic friends and growing up with a maternally Catholic family, I have a better understanding of the Catholic stuff than I do a lot of the other religions. Maybe because there is a format that is tangible and the traditions are clear. But these two articles would say those formats and traditions are malleable. As a non-Catholic, I don't have an investment in either argument. But it would seem that the shift in the structure of the faith would inherently change it.

Just something that's been rolling around in my head...

I realize I have blogged a lot about the weather

Is this the equivalent of not having anything interesting to say? Or the conversation you have with people when you feel like you should fill the silence with sound but you're not invested or not interested in being authentic? I'm not sure. I know that here in mid-Iowa, weather is a pretty common conversation piece. There is a lot of it. It changes a lot. And it affects everything that goes on around us. But there has to be more, right?

When I started the blog again, I wanted to stay away from really personal stuff. Make it more external rather than internal. However, I'm realizing that I don't do a lot of processing of the external. I'm way more internally focused. Which can be good. It means I'm aware of what's going on around me and my role in it. But maybe I'm TOO internally focused. Lord knows I could stand to worry less and reflect less. I've been trying to look for ways to be invested in the bigger picture. I still read lots of newspapers from all over the world. During my walks to work, I try to take a slightly different route each time so I can see a part of Ames that's new. But I'm still struggling a bit to get "out of my head". I know that part of it is my academic program. Lots and lots of reflecting and analysis. And in consideration, I'd rather be too aware than not at all aware.

So what do I do? One of the other bloggers I read regularly takes pictures and comments on them. Matthew and Heather are doing something similar. Being more of a wordsmith, maybe I find a passage or even a sentence that speaks to me and jot a bit down about it.

I'm open to suggestions. What would be engaging and interesting to read about?

potential for tornados today...

...I think someone is listening.

The awesomeness of surprise gifts

I went to the post office to get my mail yesterday. I usually go once a week, knowing that the only thing waiting for me was a W2 I needed to get my taxes done. Imagine my surprise when I had a package slip. When I retrieved the package, I found that my dear mom had sent me a fleece vest from Lands End with a sweet note about sending a "fleece hug". I smiled for the rest of the day. It was a purely generous and not at all necessary gift.

There's no question that gifts are nice. It's wonderful to receive and it feels amazing to give. I know there have been times when something has caught my eye and I thought "so-and-so would totally love this". And sometimes I'll pick it up and stash it away for a birthday or a big event or other times will just give it on the spot. It makes me feel great to give someone something that says, "I picked this out for you, not for any holiday or forced reason, but because I care about you and I know the things that you like."

So the next time you see something that reminds you of someone or that you want to share, just do it. It's easy in a time like this to pull back and hoard every dollar. But think of the impact that unexpected generosity would have. You have the power to make someone smile and feel loved. How can there be a price tag on that.

Happy Friday everyone.

I am SO a midwesterner

This is the sign I saw this morning while coming to work.



Well, not that exact sign but those exact numbers. And it was at 9:15am!

Any more of this heatwave and we're going to have streakers in the quad!

*sigh*

It's the little glimmers of hope that matter.

Hiding under the covers-not metaphorically

This morning, at approximately 5:30 am, I heard a commotion from downstairs. Being the kind that sees gnomes, I immediately assumed that there was a big ugly rat rifling through my kitchen drawers knocking things about. After the sun came up and I rallied the troops, I was able to see that it was a little grey mouse stuck to the glue trap that I put out in mid December. The little guy is no longer with us.

It made me think about a summer evening where Kim and I had fallen asleep on the couch upstairs, watching TV. In the wee hours of the morning, I heard a weird noise and opening my eyes to see something flying around the room. Being a smart kid, I detected that it was a bat. Being a dumb kid, I woke Kim up, told her and then pulled the blankets up over our heads.* Before the morning, it had jammed itself in between two window sills. And a few weeks later, after forgetting all about it's existence, I found it's little furry skeleton at the bottom of the window.

There are some things in life that I deal best with by pulling my heads under the blanket and waiting for sun to come up. Avoiding people who are disappointed in me, having to have difficult/confrontational conversations, filing important paperwork to name a few. But I have also learned that this method of dealing doesn't actually help at all. There's nothing wrong with a brief delay but it's different when it's flat out avoidance.

I'm trying to face things before they become issues. Moving to proactivity rather than reactivity. I've been thinking a lot about the Law of Attraction and other ideas that say that we draw to us what we think we need/deserve/want as well as what we put out into the world. And if that's the case, I don't want to draw fear, anxiety or worry. I want to draw peace and acceptance.

The next time there's a mouse making a racket in my kitchen at 5:30 in the morning, I don't think I'll wait til help arrives to take care of it and just ignore the scratching and scraping. I'll deal with it, put it behind me and move forward.



*I know that you're not supposed to do this with bats because they could bite you and you would never know. But at 3:00 in the morning, I wasn't going to start on a bat gathering tirade. I survived it, I'll try not to make the same choice again.

Gnomes

As I was opening the bar yesterday afternoon, I stopped to notice that some of the cigarette butts that were outside the night before when I closed were now gone. This is hardly news, I realize this. It was a windy night, there could have been a sidewalk sweeper, the manager who was in earlier in the day could have picked them up. Lots of logical solutions.

But me, being a little bit tired and prone to random visualizations, saw something that looked more like this.



A little cigarette gnome comes along to pick up the left over cigarettes during the evening, sometimes even sticking a few behind his ear that haven't been smoked all the way down. Maybe he's fashioned some sort of carrying device that he can strap a few to his back like cross country skis.

So there I was, laughing at a gnome that didn't exist, carrying away cigarettes to line his little gnome home.

It is ENTIRELY possible that I need to drink less coffee.

I think I figured it out...

For the last few weeks, I've been experiencing a troubling array of health conditions. By troubling, I mean annoying not dangerous. I've been completely exhausted, even after a good night's sleep. I've been famishing, even after eating a good meal. I've been cold, even though I'm always warm. After consulting with the WebMD wisdom, and crossing multiple potential concerns off the list, I think I've figured it out.

I'm getting ready to hibernate.

It makes perfect sense! It's been brutally cold and we've received more than our fair share of snow. The days are short and most often, grey. With the thick hair, I have more than once been told I resemble a bear.

This is good news. It means that these symptoms should only last a few more weeks. Well...probably months. But it's better than something more permanent. The curse of living in the upper Midwest includes a few months at the beginning of the year where it's hard to remember that there will be days filled with green grass and blooming flowers. Or even the possibility of leaving the windows open. It's the part of the year that makes the other months seem so much more wonderful. It would be terrible, absolutely Terrible, to live in someplace like San Diego where there's wonderful weather year 'round. Who would want perfection, day after day? *pshaw* We're better for all of this tough living.

Right?

Not surprising...inaugaration post

When I think about the historical things I've lived through, yesterday is near the top of the list. I remember where I was when the Challenger exploded. And where I was when I heard about the attack on the Twin Towers. I even remember my exact location when it was announced that Brett Favre was retiring. Well, I remember where I was two of the many times he announced his retirement but you get the point...

It's safe to say that I grew up believing in the equality and worth of each human. I attended a very diverse elementary school and never really spent all that much time considering race until college, where I took the mandatory Minority Studies classes. It was an interesting time to reflect on institutional racism and historical oppression as it was about that time I started to question my sexuality. It would be years before I was ready to actually come out but I could see the path from oppression to tolerance to acceptance as marched by other minority groups.

Watching the inauguration, and watching all the other folks that were watching the inauguration, it was unmistakable how our culture, in a very public and societal way, has moved beyond judging a person by the color of their skin. There is no question that racism still exists in very real and horrible ways. And electing an African American President won't change that overnight. Nor will having a female Secretary of State change the culture of sexism. But it does quiet the voices that say "It can't/won't happen". It has happened. And there is still a lot of work to be done. But regardless of the president he becomes, we have changed. We have crossed a line that had never been crossed. We can't come back from that.

I think I've been buying a little too much into the media influence however. I was Very interested to see what Michelle Obama would wear last night. And, of course, she was stunning. And many of the interviews leading up to last night, including a painful one with Katie Couric, had many questions about being a father and a husband with such huge responsibilities. There's no way to answer those questions other than to be gracious and charming. But like everything else with this 44th president, it just seems a little more sincere.

Yesterday was a pretty good day.

Let's try this again

I think I'm ready.

A new year, a new semester, a new take on things. Let's try this again.

For those of you who have been missing the bloggings of this muddled mind, long no longer.

For now, it will not be quite as "personal" as before. Today was a historic event, I imagine I'll have something to say about that. I've got some good stories about running into old acquaintances and what that brings to mind.

Let's try this again.