To-do list

Maybe making it public will help.

-Proposal to Dr. R
-Case study
-Case study email
-GRE registration
-topic to Kim L
-response to globalization stuff
-homework for class tonight
-update journal for 545
-PhD application

Update at 4pm.

Update is that i'm still stalling on my proposal/case study. *sigh* Maybe tomorrow. But I did learn the html code for strike throughs. that has to count for something, right?!

OMG!!!

I should preface this post by saying that I have a very limited connection to religion. I am intrigued by folks who have a strong sense of faith. Not as intrigued as my dad, who watches the Christian channel when the nuns are on praying the rosary because their commitment is both admirable and bizarre, but intrigued nonetheless. I can discuss Christianity with a fair amount of knowledge and comfort but it's much more theoretical to me than a part of who I am. I see it kind of as a really great book or movie where you're invested in the characters but you're not sure why they do what they do and you have concerns about the parts that the author left out. The University that I work at has a very strong Christian student population. VERY strong. Loud, too. And it's that part of religion that I really struggle with. The part that says, "How can you not believe what I believe?!". And it goes both ways. I have also seen the other side where folks who believe strongly in not having faith question those who are of faith with a determined dogmatism that seems counter intuitive to their arguments. All in all, religion, and those who believe in it, are a fascinating bunch.

So when I came across two articles about religion this past week, I found myself really thinking about what they meant. The first was in the New York Times and talked about the reemergence of the "indulgence" in the Catholic tradition. Being someone who has...ahem...been indulgent at various times in life, I wanted to learn more about the Catholic perspective. Although the definitions weren't the same, I learned more about this bygone tradition. Apparently, indulgences are a kind of a super-absolution. They were taken out of the mainstream Catholic tradition along with the Latin masses and meatless Friday's during the Vatican II changeover. (which I really only know about because it caused my Catholic grandpa a fair amount of concern. "How come one Friday I can't eat meat and now I can? That's just not right?!) The article goes on to explain that by combining confession with some good acts, one can earn a "plenary indulgence" and that the reason they are being brought back is because "there is still sin in the world". Here's where my questioning side comes in. Why isn't confession enough? If I understand it correctly, indulgences shorten the time in purgatory or skip it altogether. But if purgatory is everlasting, how does five years off help? Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of making good on ones wrongs. And adding a community service requirement seems like a great idea too. But why now? Is it because the church needs some good press? I'm not sure. But I learned a lot from this article, and like any good article, left me with more questions than answers.

About two hours later, still at work, I came across this article. It seems that John Paul II agreed to allow married priests IF they were coming to the priesthood after being ordained in another faith. So a Lutheran pastor gets married, decides being Catholic is more his style and now can be a priest, even though he's married. WTF! How does this stay true to the original tenet that priests have to be single/celibate? At a time when the church is at an all time low, both in terms of public perception as well as young men entering the fold, wouldn't it make sense to allow this to ALL men of faith? Or women, for that matter? What was once non-negotiable, now is negotiable! Exceptions, rather than the rule. But why?

I don't mean this to be at all disrespectful of the Catholic traditions. As I said, I'm more curious about the dichotomy than suggesting that there are right vs. wrong issues. I believe religion and spirituality to be some of the most private and personal issues in a persons life. As I said earlier, I am incredibly curious about why people believe what they do and how they came to those beliefs. Having many many many Catholic friends and growing up with a maternally Catholic family, I have a better understanding of the Catholic stuff than I do a lot of the other religions. Maybe because there is a format that is tangible and the traditions are clear. But these two articles would say those formats and traditions are malleable. As a non-Catholic, I don't have an investment in either argument. But it would seem that the shift in the structure of the faith would inherently change it.

Just something that's been rolling around in my head...

I realize I have blogged a lot about the weather

Is this the equivalent of not having anything interesting to say? Or the conversation you have with people when you feel like you should fill the silence with sound but you're not invested or not interested in being authentic? I'm not sure. I know that here in mid-Iowa, weather is a pretty common conversation piece. There is a lot of it. It changes a lot. And it affects everything that goes on around us. But there has to be more, right?

When I started the blog again, I wanted to stay away from really personal stuff. Make it more external rather than internal. However, I'm realizing that I don't do a lot of processing of the external. I'm way more internally focused. Which can be good. It means I'm aware of what's going on around me and my role in it. But maybe I'm TOO internally focused. Lord knows I could stand to worry less and reflect less. I've been trying to look for ways to be invested in the bigger picture. I still read lots of newspapers from all over the world. During my walks to work, I try to take a slightly different route each time so I can see a part of Ames that's new. But I'm still struggling a bit to get "out of my head". I know that part of it is my academic program. Lots and lots of reflecting and analysis. And in consideration, I'd rather be too aware than not at all aware.

So what do I do? One of the other bloggers I read regularly takes pictures and comments on them. Matthew and Heather are doing something similar. Being more of a wordsmith, maybe I find a passage or even a sentence that speaks to me and jot a bit down about it.

I'm open to suggestions. What would be engaging and interesting to read about?

potential for tornados today...

...I think someone is listening.

The awesomeness of surprise gifts

I went to the post office to get my mail yesterday. I usually go once a week, knowing that the only thing waiting for me was a W2 I needed to get my taxes done. Imagine my surprise when I had a package slip. When I retrieved the package, I found that my dear mom had sent me a fleece vest from Lands End with a sweet note about sending a "fleece hug". I smiled for the rest of the day. It was a purely generous and not at all necessary gift.

There's no question that gifts are nice. It's wonderful to receive and it feels amazing to give. I know there have been times when something has caught my eye and I thought "so-and-so would totally love this". And sometimes I'll pick it up and stash it away for a birthday or a big event or other times will just give it on the spot. It makes me feel great to give someone something that says, "I picked this out for you, not for any holiday or forced reason, but because I care about you and I know the things that you like."

So the next time you see something that reminds you of someone or that you want to share, just do it. It's easy in a time like this to pull back and hoard every dollar. But think of the impact that unexpected generosity would have. You have the power to make someone smile and feel loved. How can there be a price tag on that.

Happy Friday everyone.

I am SO a midwesterner

This is the sign I saw this morning while coming to work.



Well, not that exact sign but those exact numbers. And it was at 9:15am!

Any more of this heatwave and we're going to have streakers in the quad!

*sigh*

It's the little glimmers of hope that matter.

Hiding under the covers-not metaphorically

This morning, at approximately 5:30 am, I heard a commotion from downstairs. Being the kind that sees gnomes, I immediately assumed that there was a big ugly rat rifling through my kitchen drawers knocking things about. After the sun came up and I rallied the troops, I was able to see that it was a little grey mouse stuck to the glue trap that I put out in mid December. The little guy is no longer with us.

It made me think about a summer evening where Kim and I had fallen asleep on the couch upstairs, watching TV. In the wee hours of the morning, I heard a weird noise and opening my eyes to see something flying around the room. Being a smart kid, I detected that it was a bat. Being a dumb kid, I woke Kim up, told her and then pulled the blankets up over our heads.* Before the morning, it had jammed itself in between two window sills. And a few weeks later, after forgetting all about it's existence, I found it's little furry skeleton at the bottom of the window.

There are some things in life that I deal best with by pulling my heads under the blanket and waiting for sun to come up. Avoiding people who are disappointed in me, having to have difficult/confrontational conversations, filing important paperwork to name a few. But I have also learned that this method of dealing doesn't actually help at all. There's nothing wrong with a brief delay but it's different when it's flat out avoidance.

I'm trying to face things before they become issues. Moving to proactivity rather than reactivity. I've been thinking a lot about the Law of Attraction and other ideas that say that we draw to us what we think we need/deserve/want as well as what we put out into the world. And if that's the case, I don't want to draw fear, anxiety or worry. I want to draw peace and acceptance.

The next time there's a mouse making a racket in my kitchen at 5:30 in the morning, I don't think I'll wait til help arrives to take care of it and just ignore the scratching and scraping. I'll deal with it, put it behind me and move forward.



*I know that you're not supposed to do this with bats because they could bite you and you would never know. But at 3:00 in the morning, I wasn't going to start on a bat gathering tirade. I survived it, I'll try not to make the same choice again.